I've devised this quasi-serious exam to test the true quicksand enthusiast and how well they know the substance and the internet 'cult' which has banded together about it. Put on your thinking cap and go for it.

Quicksand 101 exam

1. What gets most people in trouble when they encounter quicksand is:
a. Panic
b. Lack of a sinking partner
c. Forgot the video equipment
d. They are stark naked

2. What is the name of the newsgroup that is the retreat of quicksand fans.
a. alt.sex.fetish.spam
b. alt.sex.fetish.wet-and-messy
c. alt.sex.fetish.luv-that-quicksand
d. alt.bogs.quicksand

3. Who is best known for his quicksand cartoons?
a. Pete Boggs
b. Chuck Lang
c. Rob Blaine
d. Bill Clinton

4. The midi file that plays on Kaol's main quicksand page is:
a. Quicksand
b. Red Rubber Ball
c. Lump
d. Peaceful Easy Feeling

5. Who used to have a web site featuring an archive of WAM stories?
a. Jiminy Thicket
b. Jiminy Cricket
c. Hominy Grits
d. Hank

6. Which of the following was an event in the "Celebrity Quicksand Challenge"?
a. quicksand long jump
b. pie eating contest
c. spam marathon
d. quicksand tug-of-war

7. Which of the following ladies made Kaol's top ten list of women he'd like to see in quicksand?
a. Jenny McCarthy
b. Kathy Ireland
c. Oprah Winfrey
d. Jenna Jameson

8. What is an appropriate substitute for quicksand?
a. a tar pit
b. a tub full of plaster of paris
c. the recently laid cement foundation of a skyscraper
d. None of the above, there is no true substitute

9. According to Kaol's web site survey, what percent of visitors to his site are female?
a. 6%
b. 10%
c. 2%
d. 25%

10. Which of the following recording artists has NOT recorded a song called "Quicksand"?
a. Martha Reeves and the Vandellas
b. Jefferson Airplane
c. T-Bone Burnette
d. David Bowie

11. What is the appropriate reason for not purchasing Kaol's quicksand videos?
a. not enough money
b. significant other would not approve
c. waiting for Christmas
d. None of the above, there is no good reason.

12. Which of the following TV series has not featured a quicksand scene?
a. Charlie's Angels
b. The Rifleman
c. JAG
d. The Bionic Woman

13. Which Tarzan film features a well known quicksand sequence?
a. Tarzan and the Big Busted Nymphomaniac
b. Tarzan and the Leopard Woman
c. Tarzan's Hidden Jungle
d. Tarzan's Great Escape

14. Which of the following is NOT a foreign term for quicksand?
a. ryuusa
b. flugsand
c. arena movediza
d. mons veneris

15. Which story was NOT part of Kaol's "Blood of the Gods" trilogy?
a. Blood of the Gods
b. Tandron
c. Mind Over Matter
d. Long Live the Queen

16. Which of the 50 United States does not have quicksand?
a. New Jersey
b. Hawaii
c. Arizona
d. None of the above

17. Which two films had quicksand scenes with the heroine written into the script, but which sadly did not appear in the movie?
a. “Starcrash” and “Swamp Thing”
b. “Barbarella” and “Swamp Thing”
c. “The Bridges of Madison County” and “Sophie’s Choice”
d. “Barbarella” and “Axa”

18. Kaol's first quicksand video was:
a. The Quicksands of Iwo Jima
b. The Explorer
c. Everything You Wanted to Know about Quicksand, But Were Afraid to Ask
d. The Mind is the Key

19. If you should step into quicksand, which would not be a good idea (at least to most people)?
a. Drop anything heavy you are carrying
b. Lie flat on your back
c. Pump your legs up and down as fast as you can
d. Call for help

20. Who made one of the most sophisticated artificial quicksand tanks prior to 1965?
a. Professor Jorg Ostukey of Northwestern University
b. Professor Carol Abar of Vincennes University
c. Professor Irwin Corey of Iowa State University
d. Professor Ikiwa Komato of Tokyo University

21. WAM news was:
a. a subsidiary of Fox television
b. when the broadcaster tells of a car accident
c. a newsletter for wet-and-messy fans
d. a tax dodge

22. Which of the following is a quicksand comic by Pete Boggs?
a. Quicksand Quandry
b. The Butterfly Hunter
c. Bog of the Bimbos
d. Sinking Softly in the Sands

23. Which of the following individuals did not have a quicksand related web site that they later shut down?
a. Gr8tgams
b. Fred J
c. Chuck Lang
d. Weatherman

24. Who was the originator of "The Quicksand Page"?
a. Rob Blaine
b. Rob Frank
c. Mike Disabato
d. Jiminy Thicket

25. Who has "The Muddy Model" on his web page?
a. Kaol
b. Mike Disabato
c. Rob Blaine
d. Der Mud Gecko

That's it!

The answers are at the bottom of the page!

Return to the Fun and Games Page.

LinkExchange Member Free Home Pages at GeoCities

Created on October 11, 1997

© 1997 Kaol



(1A) (2B) (3A) (4B) (5A) (6A) (7D) (8D) (9A) (10B)
(11D) (12A) (13C) (14D) (15B) (16D) (17A) (18B) (19C)
(20A) (21C) (22B) (23C) (24B) (25D)

Give yourself one point for each correct answer.
Your Score:

23-25: (If male) You are a true fan, a true believer, and are spending nearly as much time thinking about quicksand as I am. Whether that's good or not I won't say!
(If female) Will you marry me?

20-22: Excellent! You know your quicksand plus manage to have an outside life as well!

15-19: Well done. You've visited my sites, know your quicksand, and can likely go several hours at a time without even thinking about quicksand...at least in the winter.

10-14: A good start. You've a beginner's interest but have a way to go before you can be considered a major fan.

5-9: You haven't been doing your homework. Go out, find some quicksand, and write a report for me.

0-4: Huh? I have to assume you stumbled on these pages by mistake, but bless your heart for trying!