10. You have a panic attack when your server goes down and you can't access ASFWAM.

9. You broke into tears when Jiminy Thicket shut down his original web site.

8. You think that Da Vinci fellow could have learned a thing or two from Pete Boggs.

7. You change your diet to include only oatmeal, pudding, and other quicksandlike substances.

6. You spend your summer vacation hunting for real quicksand.

5. You spend the money intended for your wife's birthday gift to subscribe to Mud Puddle Visuals.

4. You have had your collection of internet quicksand stories bound in leather.

3. You spend hours debating with yourself as to whether Chuck Lang or Rob Blaine make better videos.

2. When viewing a beautiful woman, your first thought is wondering how she would look in quicksand.

1. When viewing an average woman, your first thought is wondering how she would look in quicksand.