By Kaol, art by QSA

There are mountain men, and then there are mountain men, Chad had been known to smirk to his colleagues. Jeremiah Johnson he was not, and he would as soon spend time in the Rockies other than in a ski lodge as he would walk through downtown Miami stark naked. Instead, Chad called himself a mountain man of the 90's, and it was truly his life. Or it had been, he thought to himself, shuddering in the knee deep water and glancing about nervously. The next few hours might determine if it would be again.

Loni Anderson, Adrienne Barbeau, Shane and Sia Barbi, Sybil Danning, Elvira, Elle MacPherson, Raquel Welch; these were the owners of but a few of the mountain ranges to which he had devoted his life. A brief smile crossed his lips as his mind lovingly played over those images. He recalled puberty when he first developed his absolute fascination with the peaks and valleys of the opposite sex. With total absorption he had studied the images of such women through television, movies, and magazines. Curiosity had quickly developed into an obsession, yet it was an obsession that would gain little notice in his society. Chad knew he was in the right country for a breast fixation. A cursory examination of any highway's billboards confirmed that.

"Dr. Levitski? Dr. Levitski? Where are you? You can't hide from me forever. Come on, I know you want to see me," the voice called, interrupting his thoughts. Chad hunkered down lower in the fetid water, half paralyzed with fear, but also half tempted to meet the sound of that voice. He was curious, true. Very curious. But revealing his presence at this time would likely mean his death. Quietly, he edged his way deeper into the swamp.

Being a good American, Chad had years ago decided upon a way of making his particular obsession pay for him. With years of hard work trailing behind him, Chad was now a plastic surgeon in Florida with a predictable specialty. Until recently, Chad had never had an unsatisfied customer, and they always got more than their money's worth. He made sure of that. Chad considered himself a man with a mission.

Thinking back on it now, Chad realized he should have stopped when he was ahead. But instead of simply being trapped with a relatively harmless life's purpose, he was also in possession of a highly intelligent and creative mind. How big was too big? he had often asked himself. Was more than a mouthful a waste? Chad was a scientist. He would find out.

In his off hours, Chad spent his time experimenting with various secondary sex characteristic and growth hormones. Artificially reproducing and modifying them, he met with frequent failure before arriving at a combination that he was certain would make him rich and famous, as well as provide him with an increasing amount of female scenery to enjoy. It was now simply a matter of testing it out. But on whom?

"Autumn!" he gasped, as he felt the soggy ground tremble beneath his feet. Turning, he looked over his shoulder back into the maze of trees behind him. She was on his trail! Forgetting stealth, Chad kicked it into high gear and dashed off, ignoring the perils of the swamp in hopes of avoiding the greater peril of Autumn Winters behind him.

Autumn Winters, the stage name of the woman who had received the injection in his lab barely a week ago. By most men and women's standards, this stripper would have already been considered handsomely endowed. But big tits often meant big tips, she had told him. She wanted more. Chad was only happy to oblige.

But, Chad thought, he had, pardon the expression, cocked up somewhere along the line. Perhaps some DNA had zigged when it should have zagged. He hadn't had time to give it much thought so far. Of course, it had not seemed that way at first, and after that first night Autumn had displayed twin peaks that would have made Agent Cooper dizzy. Drunk with success and Andre' champagne, the two of them had tangled on the laboratory floor. Chad sampled his work and found that it was good.

The sound of splintering wood could be heard coming up fast behind him, and Chad brought himself back to the present. How was he going to get out of this one? Ahead he saw a clearing, and skirted that, sticking to the trees. He couldn't let Autumn catch him out in the open. Years ago he had built his home on the outskirts of the swamp because the land was cheaper. Now he was doubly glad he had done so, for he couldn't imagine what it would have been like having Autumn chasing him through the city. Perhaps he could lose her here.

Chad had barely made it around to the other side of the clearing when a booming voice echoed across the swamp. In spite of himself he turned and slowly craned his neck up. Autumn. There she stood in all her glory across the clearing. Nearly fifty feet of blonde, naked, scientifically enhanced, beauty. His voice failing him, he could only stare. The serum worked a bit too well, perhaps. Of their own will, his eyes rose until they settled upon the incredible expanse of her chest and he thought that this must have been how Edison felt when he invented the light bulb. So beautiful. Yet when his gaze finally wandered up to Autumn's face, he could tell she did not share his enthusiasm.

"There you are, you son of a bitch!" she hollered, eyebrows lowering. "Make this stop now!"

Chad stepped out from the trees, caught. "The process will reverse itself within the next three days," Chad lied. "You can hide out here until then."

"Really?" Autumn asked, tilting her head as if trying to decide if he was being straight with her.

"Yes, really," Chad said, becoming more bold. "I would have explained that to you earlier, but you seemed unwilling to listen to reason."

Autumn looked away, embarrassed. "I don't normally have a temper like that, you know." She looked down at herself. "It's just, well, you know," she continued, gesturing at her body.

Chad nodded. "I understand. I needed a new roof to my home anyway. But I really think I should examine them, er, you, to make sure that you don't grow any bigger."

Autumn gave a streetwise grin back at him. "Interests of science, huh Doc? Sure."

Chad had taken one step forward, as had Autumn, when his mouth dropped open in surprise. Autumn's bare leg passed through the surface of the ground, almost as if there was an invisible step she had missed, and she stumbled forward towards him. Chad's breath caught in his throat as he feared she would topple over and crush him. Yet at the last moment Autumn regained her balance and settled in up to her hips in the swamp.

"Doc! What's happening?"

Chad realized he was now sitting and staring, and hadn't even recalled falling backwards. The massive form of Autumn was quickly settling into what had only moments before appeared to be solid ground. It took only a moment to realize she had become trapped in...

"Quicksand!" Autumn cried, and reached out a hand towards Chad. He tried to shuffle backwards, but was not fast enough. Her hand closed about him and lifted him up towards her. "You tricked me, you bastard!"

Chad whirred his head back and forth in negation, not liking the way she was snarling at him, and thinking what damage those teeth could do to his body. "No! I didn't know! Really!"

Autumn shook her head, blonde hair covering her shoulders like Spanish moss. "I don't believe you anymore," she said, and paused, looking down at the soupy ground bubbling about her waist. "This gunk is sucking me down fast. But I ain't going alone."

"No, please! I'm sure it's not deep enough to swallow you."

"I ain't listening to your bullshit talk anymore. You're a liar. Doctor. But I'll tell you what. You wanted to examine me, I'm gonna let you."

Autumn set Chad down on the top of one of her monstrous breasts, and he grabbed on, fearful that he would slide off into the swamp. Yet she had other plans for him, and nudged him towards her cleavage. He felt his grip loosen, and screamed as he began to fall. Before he could, Autumn cupped her breasts together, trapping him firmly between them. Chad's head and shoulders popped out from the top, and yet he was unable to squirm free. He glanced up to see Autumn's fierce grin. Slapping at the quivering flesh, Chad could do nothing to loosen the grip of the monstrous globes. Glancing out, he saw the level of the swamp growing nearer. The quicksand squeezed in through her cleavage like a ship taking on water, and Chad could do nothing but scream. As he was held sandwiched between his greatest creations, a stream of quicksand poured into his mouth, and Chad had the briefest of moments to consider that perhaps more than a mouthful was a waste.

Copyright Kaol-1991